Rain
by Mikara
Summary: Suicidal thoughtwaves of a made-up female character desperately in love with…read and find out! ^^;;;


A/N: YES! I HAVE FINALLY COMPLETED A FIC FOR SOMETHING OTHER THAN SLAM DUNK! rejoicing For my first anime love, R.K.! It's also my first songfic! AND my first fic intended as a birthday present, all of which gives you people all the more reason not to flame me! Woo hoo! ^o^ Happy days! Ehehe…^^;;;  
  
Disclaimer: I don't even own the main character in this fic, so nobody sue me, okay? Okay??? =_=;;;  
  
About this fic…the title is the same as the title of the song it's based on, with lyrics by Tim Jensen, music and arrangement by Yôko Kanno, and performed by Steve Conte. Anyway, let's get it on with the fic, shall we?  
  
Dedicated to Yuki, on her birthday  
  
I don't feel a thing  
  
No one's looking. I step outside. Though it's raining, I don't mind.  
  
  
  
And I stopped remembering  
  
I wonder why I am here at all.  
  
  
  
The days are just like moments turned to hours  
  
I never thought it would turn out this way. It was as if fate, if such a thing existed, had brought us together, you and me.  
  
  
  
Mother used to say  
  
Damn, it must be laughing at me right now.  
  
  
  
If you want, you'll find a way  
  
I feel tired. They all say I should really get some rest. I think so too, but I'm not going in back there. Not even if HE were to ask me to.  
  
  
  
Bet mother never danced through a fire shower  
  
But even he couldn't understand what I had been through. It was too much, I couldn't take it anymore, all those voices…telling me to do this, do that, try harder, Yuki, you can do it, you're just not trying hard enough…  
  
  
  
Walk in the rain, in the rain, in the rain  
  
I hate those voices. They keep telling me what to do with my life. Don't they have their own? Can't they just let me BE?  
  
  
  
I walk in the rain, in the rain  
  
No one understands. I hate them for that.  
  
  
  
Is it right or is it wrong  
  
It's not just them I hate. I hate me, too. For the same reasons. I don't try hard enough, I know I can do it but I just CAN'T and they hate it and I hate it and I KNOW, I actually know all of these things. They're engraved on my heart, they bind my soul, they always flash before my eyes whenever I see someone else doing something I could have done, just as well or, oftentimes, even better.  
  
And I know. I actually know.  
  
  
  
And is it here that I belong  
  
Isn't it ironic?  
  
  
  
I don't hear a sound  
  
I look back towards the house. No one's coming out into the rain. No one's following me.  
  
  
  
Silent faces in the ground  
  
No one knows I'm about to die.  
  
  
  
The quiet screams, but I refuse to listen  
  
Good.  
  
  
  
If there is a hell  
  
I wonder where I'm going, after all of this. I don't really believe in a heaven or a hell; but…  
  
  
  
I'm sure this is how it smells  
  
…I'm sure it won't be anywhere near him.  
  
  
  
Wish this were a dream, but no, it isn't  
  
I remember his smiling, shining face, and the times we had together, like the time when we set fire to Saito's hair just before an inspection of his department and when…  
  
  
  
Walk in the rain, in the rain, in the rain  
  
And I think of quieter days, when we used to go out for really long walks at twilight to see what we could see and buy all sorts of sweets and along the way talk about everything, it seems.  
  
  
  
I walk in the rain, in the rain  
  
We used to go home really late at night then, and he would accompany me home. A lot of times his lantern was the only bright thing either of us could find our way home by. Then, just before he would leave, he would unfailingly say, "Oyasumi nasai, Yuki-san." And all the time he would smile beautifully.  
  
  
  
Am I right or am I wrong  
  
I'm being unfair to him by doing this.  
  
  
  
And is it here that I belong  
  
But then again, I don't know if he really loves me.  
  
  
  
Walk in the rain, in the rain, in the rain  
  
Only now does it hit me.  
  
  
  
I walk in the rain, in the rain  
  
He should have told me by now what he really feels, otherwise…  
  
  
  
Why do I feel so alone  
  
…It means he doesn't really love me.  
  
  
  
I near my destination: a deep ravine at the edge of town. I'm completely soaked by now, but I don't care. At the edge, I peer down.  
  
  
  
For some reason I think of home  
  
For the first time, I can feel the cold.  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N again…: *sigh*…I really liked that fic…did you? Oh yeah, for those people who are wondering, (and you probably all are) the 'Him' Yuki keeps talking about is………SOUJIROU, of course! Which else RK character is renowned the world over for his smile? And the suicidal made-up female character is Yuki Sayama, a character/alter-ego of my friend LunarChild, who is desperately in love with…you know who. ^_^ And for those people who're waiting for the next chapters of the Anime Academy Awards SD Style, I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY, I'M SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SOOOOOORRRRRRYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!! I've finished chapters two and three, but THEY JUST WON'T LOAD!!!!!!! NAZE?????????????????????? Awww…anyway, yun…Hi to all the Filipinos out there!! KABABAYAN!!!! ^_^ Yay!  
  
Happy birthday Yuki! 


End file.
